For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to stay home with my children. After striving and planning for it my entire life, I finally got to live my dream when Colton was born.
Three years later, finances are tight but I still love being home with my boys and am trying to make it work for as long as possible.
That being said, I have found that you can work toward something your whole life, truly enjoy it when you achieve it, and still have moments of struggle.
That is where I found myself earlier this year.
Around 4 o’clock in the afternoon, a haze would settle into my body. I sat and watched my boys play on the floor in front of me and felt paralyzed – like someone had just pushed my pause button. The world was still spinning but I was frozen.
Whether I was grappling with anxiety, depression, or the general stress of motherhood, here are the things I have been doing to get out of the mom funk and feel like myself again.
Talking About It
I talked to my husband about how I was feeling. He was very supportive and also suggested I look for a professional to talk to as well.
I have been to therapy in the past. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it did not. The truth is, a good mental health professional makes a difference.
If you are struggling with a general funk, or something bigger, like anxiety and/or depression, I recommend doing research to find a professional who is experienced with your specific issues.
For instance, I found a Licensed Clinical Social Worker through my mommy-and-me yoga group. She specializes in working with mothers and is well versed in the feelings I was dealing with.
Commitment To Myself
As I recently shared in my post, The Power of Keeping a Promise to Yourself, I was inspired by author and business woman, Rachel Hollis, to make a promise to myself for 30 days and not break it, no matter what.
After completing the first month’s challenge, I felt empowered to make another commitment to myself the following month. I am now in my fourth month and my goal is to make, and keep, a monthly commitment for the rest of the year.
If you are in a rut or want to get out of the mom funk, I think learning to keep a promise to yourself is a great way to kickstart your self-confidence and motivation.
Daily Movement
Because my monthly promise has been fitness related, I am getting exercise every day. Even though I have been a runner this is the longest number of consecutive days I have ever exercised.
The consistency derived from my monthly promise is turning exercise into a habit. In addition to that, the endorphin rush from working out is probably the greatest benefit of all.
I am finding myself looking forward to my workout and the clear head that follows.
Fruits and Veggies
I have major sweet tooth so instead of completely nixing sweets from my diet, I have been incorporating healthy smoothies and green juices. These healthy additions give me a boost of energy and can reduce my cravings for snacks and sweets.
Quick note, smoothies and juice can be a nutritional boost but can easily become high in calories and sugar. I actually gained weight the first month we started drinking them. Since then, I try to do about 50% vegetables in my smoothies, and limit my juices to green juices with small amounts of fruit.
Intentional Consumption
It is said that you become like the five people you spend the most amount of time with. I believe that applies not only to relationships but to the information one consumes. In an effort to foster my inspiration and confidence, I have been listening to books and podcasts with that focus.
Audio books and podcasts are an incredible resource because you can educate, entertain, and inspire yourself while you do something as mundane as cleaning the bathroom.
Books that have recently inspired me:
- Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis
- Un-F*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
- The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
- The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by James Maxwell
My favorite recent podcasts:
- Ed Mylett Show
- Ed Mylett shares sit-down interviews with hugely successful individuals that have “Maxed Out” in their chosen field. From great Olympians like Shaun White to American heroes like Isreal Del Toro, I finish every podcast feeling magnificently inspired.
- Rise Podcast with Rachel Hollis
- I love that Rachel Hollis pairs motivation, inspiration and confidence with a unique focus on woman and motherhood.
- Oprah’s Master Class: The Podcast
- This podcast shares in-depth reflections from noteworthy and fascinating people like Dr. Maya Angelou, Condoleezza Rice, Dwayne Johnson (The Rock), Kevin Hart, and Justin Timberlake.
Making time to listen to audiobooks and podcasts was difficult for me until I received a pair of wireless ear buds as a gift. It may seem silly, but they genuinely are helping me get out of the mom funk.
This is because going wireless allows me to leave my phone in one spot while I walk around the house and tend to kids or housework. I am also able to listen with only one ear while leaving the other free to hear my boys.
Finding Time For Other Roles
Part of feeling happier again is getting to experience all versions of yourself. Whether that is as a woman, wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc. Making time for each of the roles you play outside of motherhood can help reestablish your identity.
Reconnecting with Joel on date night is one of the ways I get to do this. We are beyond grateful to have family that generously offers to watch the boys. We rarely turn down a babysitting offer.
We are extremely fortunate for our family so I know this is easier said than done. Not everyone has family close (or willing) to help, nor the funds for childcare. If you are in this position, consider swapping babysitting with a trusted mom friend.
Nightly Routine
All of the things I have shared are helping me find more daily happiness. And to cap them off, I have created a nightly routine to close out each day.
I start by writing a highlight of my day in my one-sentence journal. I’m reaching my third year, and I love looking back at the little snippets of each day over the years.
After my journal, I roll a coconut fragrance oil on my wrists and take a few deep breaths. Following that, I choose a meditation/hypnosis podcast from Amazon Music to guide me to sleep. I set a sleep timer on my iPhone so music wont continue to play all night.
Following My Inspiration
As I wrote in my About Me and Welcome Post, I started this blog as a place to share what inspires me. I hope that others gain something from what I post but I made a decision before launching the blog that I will focus on creating content from my heart. This blog is an effort to push beyond my comfort zone in order to live a more inspired life.
Having this blog to work on has given me a sense of drive and motivation outside of being a mother. It has given me a goal to work toward each week. Instead of sitting and feeling frozen, I focus on building this space.
The Roundup
I didn’t get out of the mom funk overnight. I have been incorporating each of these things into my life over the past few months. Over time, I started to notice those afternoon blues part and am feeling a personal sense of joy and motivation that stems from inside myself.
As my children grow and change, I think my own search for internal joy will be an evolving life-long journey.
But for now, these are the steps that are helping me get out of the mom funk and reclaim a sense of self while being home with my boys.
